Still All In

So, we went the way of most city dwellers and traded our gluttonous 10 miles a gallon spacious vehicle in for a much more compact one, at 29 miles a gallon (on a good day and when your foot isn’t made of led). This crossover is pretty much identical to every other one on the road. It has three rows, but it was really made for two. We have at least one more child than the average family buying these things so we needed the extra seats. Fortunately…or probably more unfortunately, you can reach out and touch everyone in the car.

Obviously, I was a reluctant sale on this change. I normally am toward any type of new adjustment, but this time my husband was a little more than disappointed that I didn’t do a cheer when he came home with the conquest. My old vehicle and I were very acquainted with each other. I knew her abilities. I knew her limits. I liked being high up on the road and being able to haul a stroller, beach chairs, boogie boards, and groceries all at the same time.

I really am not whining. I promise. The old car made sense in our old life, but we drive a minimum of 500 miles a week now. Staggering isn’t it? This car is good stewardship for our family and finances. This was one of our last steps toward fully letting go of our old life and embracing the one we now have. This church plant has been the hardest thing we’ve ever done. It has stretched us and challenged us more than we ever wanted to be, but we’re happy and life is good too. This car is a symbol that we live in the city and pastor a mobile church. It’s a banner (soon to be complete with on the windshield) driving down the road and proclaiming, we are still ALL IN. Lord knows we’ve wanted to quit more than once. We’ve grown tired at times of the repetition of setting up and taking down…just to do it all over again. We’ve wondered if we’ve lost our minds…maybe we have a little.

But here’s the thing God is speaking to me in a loud voice: If I’m focused on what I once had and how it compares to what I have now, I’ll miss what God is doing right in front of me. It will be different and it might even be harder, but it will be better. He is a God that takes us from glory to glory. This doesn’t typically mean from 1995 Sedan to 2013 sports car but it does mean from captivity to freedom. I am finding that in order for God to free the areas of my life that are still bound, He normally has to change my circumstances. I invite the freedom, but I seldom welcome the change.

I drove down the road today with a smile on my face. I may have slammed on the breaks a couple times and misjudged my parking but all in all I am adjusting. It’s not the car, the house, the job, the clothes, etc. that make me happy anyway. I’ve found the more intimacy I experience with Jesus, the less I even care about the stuff. He is more interested in what’s going on inside me than around me. So, I will embrace this moment…raising young children, balancing marriage and ministry, accepting that I’ll never meet everyone’s (or my own) expectations, not having a church building to do all we want… I could go on and on, as I’m sure you could about your life, but I’m going to try to stop focusing on all that is hard and fix my eyes on all that is good.

You too may find yourself experiencing a little change. We all do eventually. If so, I invite you to celebrate today with me. Let’s celebrate that He is an active God with an active plan for each of us. Let’s celebrate that God is constantly doing a new things and He invites us to do it with Him.

Lord, I’m all in for Your plan. I’m all in for freedom. Let the change, change not only me but my children and those I have influence over as well. It was for freedom that You set me free. The things changing in my life are with that freedom in mind. Have Your way even when I don’t like the way the change feels.


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